Where Words Are Not Ordinary

It’s not going to work,

Not at all,

People sitting and trying to control me like the brainless remote in their hand

I sip the inexpensive sweet wine,

Killing  distractions  popping up in my mind,

Hurling curse and abuse against people hanging like an albatross around my neck,

Still thinking it’s not going to work,

Not  going to work at all

I destroy my real self just to impress people,

Keep my insanity in order to not offend their thoughts,

But none fails to smother me every day,

This business of  impressing is killing me,

I now kill my wandering thoughts by binge eating,

Or binge watching,

Pretending to be the girl next door with mere  love to give,

And no hate burning within my chest

But I still wanna be a Buddha than a  waste stinking of disgusting thoughts and rotting ideas

I still wanna jump and laugh than just simper

I still wanna feel emotions overwhelming my heart and fanciful dreams  streaming in my mind,

It won’t be a bad idea if I could be your girl next door with a smile that makes your day